Advice For Singles


I have read a lot of articles on marriage and living the single Christian life. I have heard a lot of sermons on marriage and dating too and all of these may have one thing in common- married people. The advice on dating and marriage is usually offered by someone who is already married and may have gotten married very early. I appreciate the advice from a Christian perspective but as someone over 40, I find it hard to relate to others who have been married young and so do not know realistically what it is like to go decades without a spouse. Much of the advice is similar as well. All things happen in God’s time. I agree with this but somehow it’s not very comforting coming from someone who is happily married and may not have spent much time actually living as a single person.

Paul said it is better not to marry, and I can understand where he is coming from if you intentionally live with an attitude to make God a priority in your life. At the end of the day, my life is very quiet. There is silence and time to reflect on what made the day great and what made it challenging and the only one to share my thoughts with is God. I feel privileged to be in this position because I imagine those who have a spouse or are a parent don’t often have space and time to sit quietly with God.

My quiet time with God has usually been before I go to sleep. I thank Him for anything and everything that makes my life good. The roof over my head, a bed to sleep in, meals I had and the money to meet all those needs. God is very good to me. I also have time to pray for others and ask God to direct those prayers.

Sometimes I talk to him about being alone. I tell Him what he already knows about my life, and I give all the reasons I can think of to give me a husband. I have had this conversation with him countless times. Sometimes it is in an ‘I feel sorry for myself’ kind of way, and sometimes it’s the ‘I have lots to offer‘ argument. He has heard it all before.

We all go through wanting to know God’s plan and our faith must be strong enough to say it’s in His hands and be satisfied with that. He does not make mistakes. I am pleased with the life He has given me and the maturity I have gained. I think I have more wisdom and discernment now. It’s important to review your life and take stock of what God has done. I definitely feel I would make a better spouse now than I would have 20 years ago.

If someone were to ask me for dating advice, I would tell them to take their time. I believe people should have a very good relationship with God and know themselves very well before they bring someone else into the equation. I think serving God teaches us humility, and I think that is the best quality to have whether we marry or not.

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